The Beauty Blog

I am spending SO much time beautifying myself for this wedding! I am shocked. I always thought that girls walking around with perfect skins, perfect tans, perfect hair and perfect (everything else) pulled such off effortlessly.........

I am learning that it's only worth the effort for special occassions. There are SO many things to think of......

Healthy fingernails and soft hands, clean/unchipped toenails and uncracked heels, eliminating blemishes/scars on my skin, getting a tan, growing out my usually-homecut bangs, keeping fit and toning up (although, this is always a bonus and will be continued after the wedding!), healthy lips, getting sleep, drinking water etc etc etc

I'm so glad I am confident enough in the love of my Creator and the love of my husband-to-be that all these little details only count for special occasions.... it's exhausting! I will be more than happy to go back to broken finger-nailed, uneven-tanned Katie. I will certainly enjoy having it 'all together' for a season.... but too long and I might drive myself crazy!

I really believe that the prettiest part of me on my wedding day will be my goofy grin! Everything else I'm working towards will just be a backdrop to the glow of an unstoppable smile expressing unspeakable joy!

oooh I'm so excited!

Peace, Love and MARRIAGE! :)

Ever since the second last post (since the last one was so little), I've spent almost all my time with Aaron. This is an improvement! We are having a wonderful time enjoying each other a lot more than we have been able to in the past.

I guess when I slow down and realize that God is in control (not me) things actually pull themselves together. Like my marks haven't even changed and I'm spending, at the maximum, 3/4 of the effort I used to. I think when I'm at peace, I have a clearer mind to know that everything is taken care of by my wonderful Jesus. He's so good to me.

And Aaron has been a wonderful fiance in guiding me through this letting go of control process. God has complimented us so well together! Where it can be a frustration sometimes, I am now praising God that He didn't put me with another high-strung, get it done and run around until you pass out person because we'd both be on-the-go until the day we died (and secretly I think Aaron really enjoys the fact that I help bring some routine and organization into his 'fly by the seat of his pants' life!).

I think we will have a fun life!

Anyway..... an update on wedding stuff:

• Sue (Aaron's mom) found us a SWEET deal on invitations at Liquidation World! So thankful! I think we're getting them printed tonight!
• We still rearrange our wedding guest list almost 3 times a week. Ugh.... once invitations are sent, the decisions are final I guess!
• We are getting married under a Chuppah!!!!!!
• Many of our decorations are bought/made/in the process of being made! We are SO thankful for our wonderful decorator!
• I'm doing some flower shopping on Thursday! :)
• We have a photographer
• We have flower girls and ring bearers
• We think we may have picked our honeymoon spot!!! We can't book yet, but I am just SOOOO looking forward to soaking up the sun!

We're getting MAAAAAAAAAAAAARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!

Songs

Aaron and I picked our first dance song last night.

I can't wait. It's such a depiction of us!

I also picked the song for the father/daughter dance. WOW Seems unreal!

Frustration

**I'm just re-reading this post - it's very gramatically incorrect... I didn't edit! sorry!**

I am so stressed and I haven't even done ANY wedding planning for about a week!

I don't want this to be a negative post but I just feel so overwhelmed with everything - I barely get to see Aaron and, when I do, I'm half there and half in my books. I have to keep reminding myself that good marks = scholarships because good marks are looking less and less attractive as they require more and more hard work.

I've been readings people's thoughts about the sunshine via blogs, status updates etc and they are all so peaceful and talking about walking in the sun, reading in the sun, gardening in the sun etc and I can't help but think 'when do I do those things?" (okay, okay sometimes I go for a walk in the sun but often I don't have time until the sun is down and then I have to go to the gym cuz it's still too cold at night.... thank heavens for daylights savings!).

I feel like I have this constant struggle between being simple and content and wanting to save the world. Aaron can see it in my eyes when I recieve an e-mail about some fundraiser or awareness campaign that I would love to be a part of. He pulls me back down to earth and says "Katie....... don't you think you're busy enough already?"But the look he sees in my eyes is the "I just want to do more to make the world better" - can't I spare just 52 more hours a week to volunteering?

I don't say this as a self promoting "oh look! I have such a good heart" because, quite frankly, sometimes the more I volunteer/get good grades/do 'good' things, the more I get stressed and the more I become cranky with my family and with the man I love. Is this really "changing the world for the better?".......... Or am I changing the immediate world around me for the worst?

Don't get me wrong, I believe in being a part of something. Great and wonderful things are done by focused, deliberate and, sometimes, very busy people! I just feel like I'm becoming like some CEO of a massive company obsessed with sucess more than I am becoming like Mother Theresa (or even Jesus for that matter!).

For instance, I know a girl who (I don't think) has ever been part of a pro-life campaign in a formal way. However, she had a friend confide to her that she was planning on having an abortion. The girl I know was able to share with the pregnant girl and, ultimately, save the baby's life. The girl I know simply had her values and loved the one in front of her.

But at the same time - what about the babies that aren't saved? Who's doing something about them? There are causes that NEED funding and NEED support in order to be on the frontlines saving the lives of this generation.

And what does this have to do with marriage you say?

I'm struggling with how I will be expressing this struggle in my marriage. Can I slow down enough to give my full attention and my full love to my husband? Quite frankly, the moment I say I do.... after Jesus, Aaron becomes the one I live for and give everything I have to become one with him. Am I really giving him everything if I am off doing great deeds but coming home too tired and cranky to give him the devotion that he SO deserves?

Aaron and I are SOO different in our way of expressing our innate desire to change the world. Aaron enjoys making a person's day by sharing a conversation with someone who would typically be overlooked by everyone else. I, on the other hand, push through the seas of people with little more than a polite nod so I can find the person who has the most money so I can raise more money for (fill in my favourite current cause). (this is hypothetical by the way... I've never actually done this... but it just shows the stark contrast between us).

So how do 2 become one?

Well, to start, Aaron and I are so excited to get married under what is called a Chuppah. It's a traditional Jewish structure that people get married under. It is symbolic of the need for God's covering in order for two people to come together in marriage. Without God it is impossible (and our relationship can attest to that!) for a man and a woman to share in a lifelong covenant with committment and true love.

And that's SO easily said.................. to be done?
Maybe I should kick back and learn to enjoy the man that God has given me. I certainly enjoy him every day - but to REALLY enjoy him.... I need to zero in - give him some devotion. He SO deserves it and has been SO patient in my journey to realize all of this.

oi. I feel like I'm jumping all over the place. I do feel better now that this is on 'paper'. (yet another example - I don't have time to actually handwrite, so I type instead.... I'm so inspired by my sister, Marli, who regularily takes the time to write by candlelight - so awesome).

Okay. I'm done now. I should be listening to what my prof is saying ;).

June 12th

June 12th....... June 12th..... June 12th.......

That date has been rolling around my mind in so many different ways. Typically, it is because I'm sharing with somebody that I am engaged and they ask if we have set a date. It's pretty fun to see the shocked reactions when people realize that we are so freshly engaged and yet getting married in 3 months (95 days actually)!

Tonight, though, it's a little different. My thoughts are going a little bit deeper. June 12th is the day that will change my life forever. For the rest of the June 12ths that I live to see, I will look back and cherish the June 12th that happened in 2010.

Looking at a 'big picture' illustration, I can almost see the fathers of the Canadian confederation closing their eyes at night and having the date July 1st role around in their heads and even experiencing the freshness of Canada's first anniverary on July 1st 1868.

In the same way, I feel so honoured to have made the decision to make June 12th the day that Aaron and I become one before God. Tonight I'm wondering what it feels like to have a 1st anniversary..... a 50th anniversary..... knowing you've spent that amount of time committed to and growing with your spouse.

Everyone has a birthday and I guess that is their special date that they always hold on to. But we have no control over our birthdays; we don't choose when they happened. There's something so precious about choosing a day to represent the start of a new life with the person you love; for some reason it's mysterious to me.

Call me crazy! But, all I know is that June 12th will always be one special day in my books!

Location Smocation

So, since last Saturday, Aaron and I have known where our outdoor ceremony spot is!

I couldn't even hold my excitement in while we were seeing it. Words cannot really describe the location - it's a farm field in Darlings Island that a beautiful older man has sooooo graciously given us permission to use. Not only is it a wide open field on this massive hill, but it overlooks the water. How crazy is it that our guests will be able to see, in their peripheral (because OF COURSE they'll all be looking at Aaron and I lol), a gorgeous, gorgeous view of water and hills!!!!

Since Aaron and I started dating, we have been such hippies in the sense that, I would say, 90% of our most romantic moments have happened outdoors. We LOVE the fresh air, the sights and sounds and all that. Even winter, my worst seasons when I used to hibernate, is so magical with Aaron.

So, if you feel so compelled, please join us in prayer for favourable weather on June 12th - because we REALLY want to have the ceremony outdoors!

Now, I have been stressing, ever since that day about finding a location that can double as a reception location and rain location for the ceremony (speaking by faith, an indoor location for the ceremony is not necessary!). Well, today we decided on Saint James the Less. Aaron mentioned this church building at the very beginning stages of our planning; I flat out refused. I have been in the church many times but just could not picture myself being married in their sanctuary.

However, today I went to see the building because I figured we could have both the reception and an indoor ceremony (if neccesary.... nah, it won't be!) in the gym of the church. What a surprise when I went in! I immediatly fell in love with the very sanctuary that I had flat out refused earlier. I don't know what kind of image I had in my head that caused to me dislike the idea of the sanctuary as the indoor location, but when I walked in there I realized it was everything I could ever want - right down to dark wooden pews! Wow! What an extreme blessing. God is just so good.

And now I can happily picture being married in either place (altho, stick me in a dump and I would be excited to marry Aaron....... this is actually what Aaron said to me the other day when I was stressing over a location. It puts things in perspective - Isn't he the best?!).

There are so many other details falling into place - I will have to write more later though because I'm sleeeeeeeepy zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......

The Proposal

It's 1:43 a.m. and I need to get up for the gym tomorrow - the day is packed. I've been learning to live on very little sleep though; I usually don't go back to sleep now once I wake up in the morning. It doesn't matter how early or late - BING! - I'm planning a wedding the moment I am concsious. I guess that means I'm just a little excited.

I went to bed at 5:30 the other morning, woke up at 9:30 to a brain full of wedding plans. And I was awake until 1 am that night (morning) that is until my sweet fiance carried me down the stairs half asleep.

ANYWAY. The reason I am up this late and writing is because I want to write the proposal story before the details start to slip away.

Warning: This is so super sappy it will make your heart melt all over!

The night was Feb 18, 2010. I wasn't expecting a ring until March so Aaron managed to surprise me! He brought me to the Irving Nature Park beach, which is one of the few ocean beaches in Saint John. We've gone there several times because, to me, ocean waves are better than almost any sound or sight in all the world.

So, in my usual ways, I jumped out of the car and raced down to the beach ahead of Aaron. Usually he walks down while I run and, little did I know, that this time he was actually getting the ring and securing it in his pocket!!

Once he caught up to me, I told him to run with me. Any other night we probably would have run forever but he seemed in a little bit of a hurry to settle down that night (I wonder why?!). So after chasing me down and listening to me say 100 times that the waves are soooo beautiful" and that "they got bigger since we got here!", he pulled me in close for a dance.

Often (and this is how on-a-regular-basis-romantic Aaron is), we will dance somewhere outside to a slow song that Aaron picks from his phone. We have so many favourites and that night Aaron chose Wild Horses (a more current favourite).

So Aaron set a flashlight on a rock so we could see and we danced. A few minutes in he said the words "1, 2, 3 twirl!" and so I did. Sometimes I am such an enthusiast that I do things in double. So I actually twirled twice. The first time around I caught, out of the corner of my eye, a glimpse of Aaron on his knee. It didn't fully register during my second twirl; by the time I was around, though, I saw him on his knee with so much love in his eyes!

From there, it feels like the whole world stopped. I didn't hear the music, I didn't hear the waves. I just heard the love of my life telling me that I am everything he ever wanted and asking me to be his wife.

After the ring was on, some hugs and kisses were in place, then we ran around the beach in pure Aaron and Katie fashion screaming "WE'RE ENGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGED!!!!!". (aaron replayed this part at my house every day for a week following). We were and ARE soooooooooo excited!

There will be more to come - I can't believe I have such an amazing man. I'm overjoyed and spoiled with blessing!